Real Life: On jet-setting between coasts

Iced coffee with almond milk for me — what can I get for you? I’ve started drinking iced coffee 95% of the time because I find hot coffee comforting. Iced coffee is a jolt to the system, like “HELLO DAY, we’re here!!” Even the few times I’ve been in DC recently I’ve ordered an iced coffee for working days. The barista does a double take because he/she is probably thinking, “Girl, it is five degrees outside…”

Now that we both have our coffees, let’s get right to it — real life real talk.

About the DC thing, I don’t spend most of my time there, but my husband is there. And the San Francisco thing? I do spend most of my time near the bay, because my job is there (or currently: here). Both of those are important things, so I spend the rest of my time flying over the states, going back and forth. I’m befriending the eclectic Virgin Airlines staff, memorizing the safety video lyrics and moves, becoming very familiar with the food and drink options in SFO’s Terminal 2 (home of the yoga room!), and testing mini experiments like this:

I’ve also happened to land myself in DC during the winteriest of winter weekends thus far. Think: 30 inch snowfall that shut the city down for a few days, and a more recent snow-turned-ice storm that cancelled various President’s Day flights. As it turns out, it only takes 18 months in California to become wholly intolerant of a temperature below 40 degrees and precipitation that freezes things. But we’re all alive and getting by just fine, having fun being snowed in or slipping around these lovely sidewalks.

DC snow day scene

TBH: This isn’t an “easy” set up, but I can think of plenty of ways it could be worse. The decision-making process taught me what I didn’t know I didn’t know about myself, people, career choices, and marriage. Last fall, I started to refrain from sharing our decision (to stay SF-based while he had to head back East) because, while intentions were always good, people had thoughts and feels. The rhetoric felt stale. 

Then it hit me how often I’ve judged others’ decisions. (Hi, human nature! Ugh, you can be so rude sometimes.) I realized that you don’t need this judgment. You don’t need it from me, you don’t need it from others, you certainly don’t need it from yourself. I learned that in general, we have no idea what’s going on in someone else’s situation, and that no two situations are alike. Remembering that is like taking a giant step toward empathy, and it’s hard to take giant steps. 

But alas, here we are! On the other side of that is endless support, a lotta love no matter what choices we make together, and the people who are just like, “Sweet. Are you guys training for anything? Coming to visit anytime soon? What else is new?”

The gist: real life right now is jet-setting between SF and DC every couple of weeks, enjoying the perks of two cities that are pretty amazing, working at Spright, watching new TV shows on a plane for three dollars, and enduring the long-distance thing for now. It’s not a bad gig…

The point: Sometimes life situations don’t fit into the normal storyline — whatever that may be — but you’ll find a way to make it work for you. And that’s all that matters. If it’s not working for you, change it. If it is, do it. Sometimes you just need to know that someone else gets it, so we share these stories about real life and maybe it helps. 

The p.s. point: that wine didn’t arrive until the drink cart came through. Now I know!


  1. February 19, 2016

    Great post Heather. I didn’t realize you were doing this but…it’s what works for YOU 😉

  2. February 20, 2016

    What is so wrong with doing what’s right and works for you? Ugh, people can be so judgemental.
    Soooo when are you coming to visit?

  3. February 20, 2016

    Ah, I was wondering how you were making it all work. I’m sure it’s a challenge, but it sounds like you’re enjoying both aspects. And I always love seeing your sunrise run pics along the bay.

  4. February 22, 2016

    Girl, you just made me feel so much better about myself. My husband just got accepted to an MBA program in Arizona, while my job is in Kansas City. We’re figuring it out. It feels weird, it sucks, but our friends and family are being crazy supportive. Glad to hear of someone else who’s making it all work.

  5. February 23, 2016

    I was just wondering the other week if you were moving back to DC! Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do – definitely not easy, but it’s a good time to try things out and figure out your lives together without doing what’s perceived as “right” by a lot of people. My dad took a job in Wisconsin during my senior year of high school and has been driving up there on Sunday night and coming back Friday afternoon ever since – so my parents are apart during the week and together on weekends. Some people think it’s strange, but it’s what worked for my parents and they’re happily married!

  6. February 25, 2016

    (Enter emoji hug here)

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